There’s something enjoyable about a good debate. A healthy exchange of ideas can sharpen our thinking and even deepen our faith. But Romans 14 challenges us with an important question: When does contending for the truth turn into simply being argumentative?
Paul begins with this instruction: “Accept other believers who are weak in faith, and don’t argue with them about what they think is right or wrong” (Romans 14:1, NLT). His words remind us that not every disagreement needs to become a battleground. In fact, some arguments can harm rather than help, especially for those who are new to the faith.
The Roman church faced tensions over two main issues: worship practices and dietary choices. Some believers, many of them Jewish, still observed dietary laws and holy days. Others, many of them Gentiles, embraced their freedom in Christ and saw no need for such restrictions. Paul calls those who cling to the old rituals “weak” and those who embrace freedom “strong,” but not as insults—these are simply descriptions of spiritual maturity and perspective.
The danger, Paul warns, is when those who are “strong” look down on those who are “weak,” or when those who are “weak” condemn those who are “strong.” Both attitudes miss the heart of Christ. The goal is not to win arguments but to build each other up (Romans 14:19).
So what do we do?
Paul reminds us that our identity is not found in our opinions but in Christ Himself: “If we live, it’s to honor the Lord. And if we die, it’s to honor the Lord. So whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord” (Romans 14:8, NLT). That means every choice (what we eat, when we worship, what we do) should honor God first.
This doesn’t mean we throw out discernment or compromise on essentials. Jude 3 tells us to “contend for the faith” against false teaching. But Romans 14 reminds us
not to fight over matters of conscience that Scripture leaves open. Here’s a practical filter: Will this argument help someone grow closer to Jesus, or will it become a stumbling block? If it only stirs division or pride, it’s probably not worth fighting over.
Paul goes further: If your freedom might harm someone’s faith, it’s better to lay it down. That’s real love. True spiritual maturity is not flaunting your liberty; it’s using your liberty to serve others. In a culture that thrives on outrage and division, Romans 14 calls us to be different. To be gentle, humble, and kind. To choose building up over tearing down. To prioritize relationships over “winning” debates. Because at the end of the day, what we should love most is not the argument, but the people God has placed in front of us, and the Savior who unites us.